Attaining healthiness

I've decided to start swimming.

To get a membership at the Y, and swim laps. or do AquaZumba. Something. Anything.

I don't like the state of my physical body, in fact I kind of hate it. I know I shouldn't. I read and follow and share so many articles online about "loving your body at any size" or "big is beautiful too" and I empathize with what they're saying so much. But I just can't do it. I don't feel comfortable in my skin, or my clothes. I don't like how I look in the mirror, or the comments like "oh, when are you due?". I don't like huffing and puffing and being out of breath from simple activities. I don't feel healthy.

And that's what really matters to me. Being healthy. It is something I struggle with, especially since junk food taste soooooooo good.

I know what I should eat, and how much. I've read the books and blogs and weight loss websites. But I truly believe I've become addicted to carbohydrates and refined sugars, and I need to cut them out of my diet. Which I know won't be easy. But I hope that if I also change my lifestyle, and spend time and money on changing that I'll be able to adhere to a healthier diet.

Because this is something that I need to do now. I don't want to be overweight or obese when I become pregnant, which can increase risk of complications. I don't want to be the sluggish, overweight mom who's too tired to play or read or laugh. 

I want to have a long, happy, healthy life.